Innocent My Ass
by BlahBlahBlah gurl
Summary: Summary: The trio has all graduated from Hogwart. They come back to become a part of the staff as teachers. Harry was off in America and didn’t realize so many things had changed. He discovers new allies and new enemies. GWHP
1. People Change

**Disclaimer:** Everything sadly belongs to JK Rowling. Although I wish Dan belonged to me…oh well, I'm just a bored teen with no life and obsessed with HP! Anywayz if anyone sues me I am so kicking their ass. But you can't cuz' I did this Disclaimer thingy! MUHAHAHAHAHA (Note to self: Improve evil laugh.)

**Summary:** The trio has all graduated from Hogwart. They come back to become a part of the staff as teachers. Harry was off in America and didn't realize so many things had changed. He discovers new allies and new enemies.

**Author's Notes**: Okay people show me some sympathy this is just my second attempt at a fanfic so yeah. I am hoping that it will be a good fan fic. I think it's funny but sweet at the same time. That's just my opinion though…so yeah…on with the story and stuff.

**Innocent My Ass**

**Chapter 1: People Change**

The trio had graduated from Hogwarts two years ago and was going back on the train to Hogwarts as teachers. Well at least in Ron's and Harry's case; Harry was going to be the new DADA teacher and Ron was going to be the new CoMC teacher. Hermione surprisingly didn't want to be a teacher, instead she was taking Madam Pomphrey (Did I spell that right?) as the school nurse.

"Wow, I'm so excited that we get to go back to Hogwarts as student teachers! And the best part is: WE'RE GOING BACK TO HOGWARTS!" Hermione exclaimed.

Ron just smiled at Hermione but Harry looked at her as if she was crazy.

"Are you okay up there, Hermione?" Harry said pointing to his head.

"What?" Hermione said defensively, "Don't tell me, you people never dreamed of going to back to Hogwarts?"

"Oh yeah, Hermione that's all me and Ron have been dreaming of! Going back to school oh we're going to die of joy!" Hermione huffed annoyed, while Harry just smirked at her, and Ron just laughed at the both of them.

"Harry, mate ever since Hermione and I started dating at the end of 7th year, you two have been bickering like siblings. It's gotten worse since we got engaged…" Ron just shook his head.

"Well, he always starts it!" Hermione whined. Harry laughed at her weak defence and Ron just shook his head.

"Why am I engaged to you again, Hermione?"

"Oh shut up, Ron! You know you love me!" Hermione said a matter of factly.

"Oh yeah, that's why," Ron said with a goofy grin that suddenly turned into a smirk. "And there's also the fact that you're so good in-"

"AH! VIRGIN EARS OVER HERE! DON'T SAY ANYMORE!"

"Oh get you're head out of the gutter, Harry! I was going to say uh-what was I going to say oh yeah, bathroom! Hermione's so good in the bathroom!"

Hermione looked at Ron confused and Harry just laughed and laughed with a few "Sure you were," and "Of course she's good in the bathroom!"

"Oh shut up, Harry! What do you mean virgin ears? That's the biggest lie I've heard all day!"

"At least I have some virgin parts unlike some people…"

"And what's that supposed to mean Harry James Potter!"

"Nothing Hermione Emma Granger soon to be Weasley, I'm just saying that not everyone we know is a virgin…"

"And who do you mean exactly, Mr. Potter?" Hermione said with her hair practically crackling and her eyes narrowed. (A.N. Was this enough warning for Harry? No, he keeps torturing her! lol)

"Anyone at all Ms. Granger soon to be Mrs. Weasley, I could be talking about any random mothers and fathers, Dudley, Britney Spears, coughyoucough, that one girl down the street-"

"What was that Harry? Didn't quite catch it…"

"What?" Harry asked innocently, "That one girl down the street?"

"NO! What you-"

Ron sensing trouble quickly changed the subject, "Oy, who's that outside the compartment!"

Harry and Hermione quit glaring at each other and exchanged curious glances as Ron walked out of the compartment. They heard some muffled voices, a shriek, and laughter.

"What do you thinks going on there?" Hermione whispered to Harry.

"Well it has to be something that Ron would rather not have us see or hear let alone know about…so it must be-" Harry paused to mock thinking and then he smirked. Hermione looked at him confused until he raised his eyebrows at her.

"Have you figured it out yet? I mean it's pretty obvious considering he left you here with me…I mean when was the last time Ron left you alone with me? This can only mean one thing and that is S-" Realization dawned on Hermione and she cut Harry off.

"OH HARRY! GET YOU'RE BLOODY MIND OUT OF THE BLOODY GUTTER!"

Harry held back a snicker and feigned shock, "Why I'll never…you don't even know what I was going to say Hermione! I think you're mind has been quite dirty lately and irrational!" Harry pouted and Hermione just sighed.

"Okay, Harry I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, what were you going to say?"

"Why thank you ever so much Hermione all I was going to say was that some serious stuff must be happening. But, now that you mention it Hermione I bet Ron is doing something naughty. But my innocent mind is now scarred for life because of you!" Harry looked down sadly. While Hermione just made an exasperated sigh and lunged for Harry. They began wrestling on the floor with cries of "Innocent my ass," and Harry saying "Haven't I been scarred enough for life." Just when Hermione had finally gotten the upper hand and had Harry in a headlock did they hear a distinct ahem. They both looked up to see Ron and some strange girl decked out in black from head to toe. After, the shock wore off Hermione shrieked and ran over to hug the girl. Ron smiled at the two while Harry looked on totally confused.

"Oh I've missed you so much! You have no idea what kind of hell I'm living in with these two! They will not grow up already!"

"HEY, I thought we agreed that I had matured when you bloody agreed to marry me!"

"Oh yes, he's quite right you know, Ron has grown up these past two years…but…Harry on the other hand is quite worse."

"How so?" the girl asked.

"Well, he's continuously quarreling with me as if we were under the age of seven and-"

"Mind you Hermione," Ron retorted "You two are always fighting about subjects that at least I hope seven year olds aren't fighting about…"

The girl smirked, "And what are these quarrels about exactly, Hermione?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively here, "What goes through Harry's and you're mind again?"

Harry decided he had been quiet enough, "Excuse me, but I'm only right here you know?" At this sudden comment everyone laughed except the girl who just sort of stared and glared at Harry. "And not to be rude or anything but who the hell are you?"

"Ahh, don't recognize me Harry? Of course you wouldn't with you being in the States instead of here and only keeping in contact with these two…how the bloody hell would you recognize me?" She practically screamed the words out.

"Look chick, I have no fucking idea who you are so if you would just tell me…"

"NO, YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO I AM, WITHOUT ME HAVING TO TELL YOU!"

"Oh don't go having BF (a.n. cookies for anyone who knows what movie I got this from) on me, aight?"

"Oh enough with the American accent you're a bloody british man! What in Merlin's name is a BF?" This is the part where Ron and Hermione slip out.

"You british people" Harry let out a sigh of annoyance, "A BF is a bitch fit duh!"

"WHY YOU LITTLE…I AM NOT HAVING A BITCH FIT! GOD IS IT SO MUCH JUST TO ASK FOR YOU TO REMEMBER ME? BLOODY HELL I KNOW I GOT A MAKEOVER BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT TAKES A BLOODY GENIUS TO REMEMBER ME!"

Harry just gaped at her.

"WHAT?"

Harry gaped some more until he found his voice, "HOLY SHIT! BLOODY HELL! OH FUCK!" Here Harry paused to breathe, "Oh no, it can't be, c-can it? Is-is th-th-that you G-Ginny?"

"YES!"

"Oh-Oh g-god, oh god, M-Merlin help me now! Defeating Voldemort was one thing but this…this too much for me…" Harry just stared at her and looked her up and down.

"Anytime you feel like explaining is good for me, right about now is the best time if you value your life." Ginny stated casually.

"It's just look at yourself…you're you're a FUCKING GOTH!"

"And your point is?"

"What happened Ginny? You can tell me…I mean what possessed you to even start dressing like that?"

"WHAT POSSESED ME HOW DARE YOU EVEN UTTER THAT WORD IN MY PRESENCE! WELL AT LEAST WE KNOW FUCKING VOLDEMORT ISN'T-"

Harry cut her off, "Sorry Gin, I wasn't thinking…"

"That much is obvious and don't call me Gin!"

"But…but I always call you Gin…"

"Not anymore either call me Ginny or preferably Weasley."

"Okay, okay, whatever you say Gin-ny, so please tell me what's up with the new get up, I mean look!" Harry said practically begging and her his 'begging puppy look' that he knew she couldn't resist.

Ginny sighed, "You really wanna know the answer?"

"Yes."

"Honestly?"

"Yes.

"Cross your heart and hope to die?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure you can handle the truth?"

"YES! AND GODDAMNIT JUST TELL ME ALREADY!"

"Sheesh never the patient one were you?"

"Damn straight, now tell me."

"The reason I look like this is be-be-because of-of"

"JUST TELL ME!"

"Okay, Okay it's because of you." Ginny said in a low voice.

Harry's mouth dropped open in shock. Ginny glared at him and strutted right over to him and shut his mouth. With a distinct 'Hmph' she stormed out of the compartment.

Author's Notes: tSo what'd you think? Should I continue? And pleez give me some feedback! I take nothing personal you can even tell me this story sucks so bad and I won't mind I just need an opinion…thank you and read and review.


	2. So Many Questions

**REVIEWS **

**GHosT-righter**: Thank you so much for your review. I hadn't noticed I had too much dialogue. I agree with you about not liking Harry with his American accent. He's going to eventually get rid of the accent, but it's important to the plot that he was in America.

**Author's Notes**: Well, I wasn't expecting to write thhe chapter this quickly, but I woke up around 3am (it's not 5am) and had nothing to do so I decided to post the next chapter! lol Som don't expect me to post daily. Enjoy and reda and review.

**Innocent My Ass**

**Chapter 2: So Many Questions**

Harry just sat there confused and a bit scared. He thought to himself, 'What the hell happened to Ginny? I mean how the hell can I bring such a change about her? I mean I wasn't even here to do anything…I was off in freaking America. You know she is right though I need to get rid of this accent it's not me. Oh well, it will fade away by time. I mean I'll be busy with students and what not…so…wait a minute! What's Ginny doing on the train? She was supposed to graduate last year! Where's Rona dn Hermione they have a lo of explaining to do!' With that thought Harry walked briskly out of the compartment and started looking for the two lovebirds.

Harry had looked in every single compartment and he still hadn't found them. He was beginning to get very mad. He couldn't think of anywhere else they could be until he remembered Ron's stomach. 'Of course, I'm such a fool. Ron would obviously disappear off to wherever food is.

Meanwhile, Ginny was storming around the train. It was a miracle her and Harry hadn't crossed paths. She needed a moment to herself, so she stormed into a compartment full of 2nd and 3rd years. She gave them her famous ice glare that plainly said, 'I will kill you if you don't get out!' Needless to say those kids were out of the compartment in ten seconds flat. Ginny had just begun brooding and cursing when she heard the door open.

"Enter and you die!"

"Now what kind of way is that to greet your best friend?!"

Ginny looked up and gave the girl a faint smile before giving her a half-hearted hug. The girl named Ashley Long was about 5'8 with short straight blonde hair that went just below her chin. She had piercing blue eyes with the fairest complexion you've ever seen. She was dressed head to toe in Abercrombie and Fitch; wearing a pink skirt, pink flip flops, and a white halter top with two cute little pink barrettes to keep her hair out of her face.

It was a weird sight to see Ginny and Ashley giggling in the halls together and spending their free time together. Ginny was the complete opposite of Ashley. Ginny was very petite with curves all in the right places, while Ashley was taller and more filled out. Ginny was only 5'3 and had that curly mess of dark red hair that went down to the middle of her back. She had a spread of freckles on her nose and cheeks and she always had a flushed look about her. Ginny loved dressing in black clothing and wearing black jewelry. At the moment she was wearing a black skirt which had slits right above her knees, with a belt made out chains and spikes that clinked when ever she moved, with knee high boots that laced up, a black three-quarter shirt that said 'Everyone is allowed to be stupid, but you're abusing the privilege' (My friend has a shirt like this), and her hair was done up in a ponytail. Have you ever heard the term 'Opposites Attract?' Well Ginny and Ashley were a perfect example of that term.

"Why the long face, Red?"

Ginny gave her a look, "Don't call me Red, and my worst fear has come true."

"Are you serious?"

Ginny sighed, "Yes."

"Oh my god, we have to stay calm now. If we freak that's exactly what they want us to do! Okay we'll have to start setting up some petitions going around school. I mean they can't do this to us! They can't steal our rights to-"

Ginny started laughing and Ashley gave her a cold look that could rival Ginny's own legendary one.

"Gin-Gin, this is not the time to laugh and joke! We can't survive school without Honeydukes! I mean when we start PMSing where are we going to get the CHOCOLATE from? Just tell me where"

Ginny finally stopped laughing to answer her a agitated and exasperated friend, "Ash, hun, I'm not talking about Honeydukes closing down although that would be a tragedy," Ginny said with a thoughtful look. "I'm talking about…Harry. He's back and he's going to teach us some subject." Ginny said with a sigh and a perplexed look.

Now it was Ashley's turn to laugh, "And this is a bad thing again…how?"

"What do you mean how? You know exactly how I feel about Harry! Right now, I can't even stand the mere thought of him!"

"Weren't just saying the other day…I think it was last week or the week before that I quote, 'I wish Harry was here instead of in bloody America! Then I could give him a piece of my mind and kick his arse too.' So, what was that supposed to mean? Hmm," Ashley said raising her eyebrows at Ginny.

"You know what? I miss the old you before you started hanging out with me. You were so nice and innocent back then…shame really!"

Ashley started laughing, "Well of course I was bloody innocent I was in my 2nd year!" The two girls started laughing uncontrollably. When they finally calmed down, they discussed tactics they would use if Honeydukes ever did close down.

Harry finally reached the Trolley witch's compartment where he found Ron stuffing his face and Hermione sipping tea. They looked up in amusement to see Harry's expression which was a mix of anger, confusion, and delight. Harry upon seeing their amused faces glared at them and sat moodily beside Ron and Hermione was across the both of them.

Hermione gestured to the table as if saying help yourself. Harry shook his head before he opened his mouth. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what mate?" Ron said before stuffing a chocolate frog in his mouth.

"Tell me that Ginny had gone Goth? Or that this sudden change was because of me?"

Hermione gave Harry a skeptical look, "What does it matter what Ginny wears? She seems pretty much the same to me except for she's a bit colder to people."

"And a lot more bitchier," Ron added with a grimace.

"Ron! Don't talk about your sister that way!"

"What? Would you rather have me lie?"

"No, but you could have said in a much nicer and humane way."

"Anyways," Harry cut in giving them a look that plainly said 'Shut up or I'll make you.' Harry took a breath before continuing, "Why is she like this because of me?"

"Rubbish," Hermione said looking appalled, "Why would you think she would undergo such a drastic change because of you?"

"Because that is what she said when I asked her why she changed she said and I quote, 'Because of you.' And what does that tell you?"

"That Hermione owes me 15 galleons," Ron said all of a sudden cheerful. Hermione glared at him while Harry looked between the two of them obviously confused. He looked to Hermione to explain.

Hermione sighed and tucked a loose hair behind her ear before explaining, "Ron thought that Ginny changed because of you, but I thought that idea was completely impossible. So, he wagered a bet which I agreed to and have now lost." Hermione said calmly and handed Ron 15 galleons which he pocketed with and "I told you so." Hermione just rolled her eyes.

Harry let out a breath of annoyance, "So you guys didn't even know that Ginny changed because of me you were just assuming things."

"Absolutely correct," Hermione said happily that Harry finally had some sense.

"So in other words if I want to find out more about Ginny, I'll have to talk to her?"

"Yes Harry and I am so happy you are finally showing some maturity!" Hermione exclaimed.

Harry rolled his eyes, "But can you guys at least tell me why Ginny is still in school?"

Ron looked uncomfortable, "Well, last year she got special permission from Dumbledore to skip school and make it up. She wasn't up to going to school. The final battle for some reason affected her more than anyone else. Nobody knows why and if Ginny does she's not telling."

"Why didn't you ask her and force it out?"

"We couldn't," Ron said simply and after seeing Harry's confused look he continued, "Because Dumbledore was afraid if she was under any pressure she might crack. I think that he actually knows or at least has a feeling of why Ginny was so affected. But sadly, he's not breathing a word either." Hermione nodded as if to confirm what Ron just stated. They sat in silence for a few minutes until the conductor called out to them that they would be arriving shortly and it would be a good idea for them to go and get their stuff.

As Harry walked back to the compartment with Ron and Hermione he thought to himself, 'One way or another I am going to have a serious talk with Ginny without any screaming and storming out. I should talk to Dumbledore too.'

**Author's Notes**: I'm hoping to get a few more reviews..so we'll see! in the next chapter we'll have Harry teaching. Oh yeah, and I just wanted to say that story will pretty much be revolving around Harry and Ginny. You'll only see Hermione and Ron if they're with one of them...so yeah. Just push the button and revieew! Thank you, these reviews mean a lot to me and my writing.


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